Dealing with Knuckleheads

A few years ago, I was in Las Vegas for a convention where I met quite a few coworkers (and my boss) for the first time. There was a large contingent from my department as well. It was cool to meet everyone. One of the guys was really into bikes, having bought a Goldwing five years previously, rather late in life too. I think he was in his early 50s. I showed him the hotrod bike, and we had quite the conversation. He’s the second dude I’ve met that had ridden for a few years yet was an expert on it all. More-so than me, the grizzled biker that’s ridden for over 40 years.

He asked me about something I’d never heard of; putting a car tire on the rear wheel of your big touring bike. I found a video where a motorcycle cop tried this out and had many of the same observations as me:

Needless to say, I had a lot to say about it.

• They aren’t built for bikes. It’ll mess up the ride big time.
• Bike tires are round. Car tires are more square. There’ll be almost no rubber contacting the pavement on turns.
• The sidewalls are taller and will stress when turning. They will blow out when you last expect it.
• Bikes are very, very fussy about tires. So are the manufactures. You can bet it’ll void your warranty.

The video matches all those observations and more. Dude didn’t realize his old man did that and nearly dumped the thing when trying to turn.

Take a look at the hot-rod’s rear:

Notice the sidewalls – they’re about an inch tall and really stiff. Notice they’re round and my scrub line curves within a little over an inch to the sidewall. I lean when I turn, especially at speed. However, I’ve yet to push this bike that hard. Not as hard as the last one. When I got that bike it literally had a flat section on the tire. The previous owner clearly didn’t know how to ride and leaned very little. I had to replace the tire.

When I sold it, the scrub line was nearly to the sidewall. It was a Yamaha FZ-1. Fun bike.

I like to describe cars and bikes as women archetypes. Helps to understand them. Hondas are like the chubby comfy girlfriend that can cook. Doesn’t make your heart go pitter-patter. But she brings you peace, she’s reliable, and you learn to love her over time.

Sportbike Yamahas are like crazy stripper chicks that try to kill you. That bike would light up at the weirdest times leaving me with my heart in my throat.

My advice to him was don’t screw with your bikes tires. It’s not a car. One blows out, you got big big problems. Get the best set of rubber you can afford and take care of them. Sure as hell, don’t do tons of burnouts and expect to ride it to work as usual. Had a buddy that did that. It’s all fun and games until you’re on your way to work and the back wheel blows suddenly. Odds are you’ll get dumped on your ass and you’re bike will get screwed up. Lucky for him, it was only a few months old, so insurance fixed it without asking many questions.

Replacing something as important as the rear tire with one that’s not only out of spec, but not designed for the vehicle is lunacy.

I don’t argue much with these types. You want to learn the hard way, go for it. The other type I meet is the one where they knew someone that got killed/hurt on a bike, so it’ll happen to me too. I’m sure it may. But then again, after chatting with these people, you find out that the deceased were doing something stupid. I’ve had so many tell me that someone they knew got run off the road. Really? How?

I know how. I see them all the time. They putter down the road at or slightly below the speed limit, in their own world, not paying attention. That’s how you get in that position. It’s impossible if you are paying attention. At worst, dip to the shoulder and stand on the brakes. They’ll soar right past. I don’t let cars get anywhere near that close to me. If they are speeding far faster than me, I maneuver to let them past. I want them in front of me if nothing more than to pull the cops attention to them rather than me.

A lot of them are the types that got hit at a traffic light. That’s tough. But also can be an attention thing. Cant your bike at an angle to the car in front, and stare in the mirrors until there’s a car or two behind you. Never relax at a light. Ever. Always look for an exit.

Then there’s the organ donors. I see them all the time. Riding way too fast. Riding recklessly. The ones I see rarely have tags, and thus probably are uninsured. A guy I know had a son that was in a major motorcycle wreck last month. I feel for him. That’s horrible. But…

Hit a traffic cone and wiped out into the barrier. I don’t know if this was the same, yet. But how many serious motorcycle accidents happen in this small town each week? The timing is within a day from when I heard. We’ll see. Running from the fuzz is one thing I’ve never done. Thought about it, but didn’t do it. Why? Because I’m not stupid. I also was in court for a 20+ MPH over wreckless driving ticket where the dude in just before my case got one year, six months suspended for trying to elude an officer of the law. One year, six months suspended, for driving on a suspended license (he had a previous DWI). Had a broken leg and arm from wiping out in front of his house. So close. So close.

The bailiff took his broken ass out of the courthouse to county jail.

If you live, you will go to jail. Not worth it.

Don’t do stupid things. Don’t ride when you aren’t 100%. Treat it like a sport, not a car ride in a convertible.