Things that hit my funny bone

This morning I was slow to get going and found some funnies at the Bitter Centurian.

I think I’ve said about half of those in real life. #1 and #10 for sure, multiple times.

He had a piece on Bill Gates

The funnybone quote:

“At the end of the day, I’ll be the one who’s laughing. My team is only months away from developing the technology which will allow me to upload my consciousness to The Cloud. So it doesn’t matter how fat I get, I’m going to live forever, suckers.”

Bill Gates, Apparently

Heh.

I was looking for windows Haikus for another matter, and found an appropriate one for this:

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Good luck with that, Bill.

Also from the piece:

When probed, Gates admitted that his main motivation for eternal earthly life was “to delay having to meet my maker for as long as possible.” He also claimed he would be able to offset the carbon used to upload his consciousness by composting his body to feed bugs.

XYZ.Net

Good luck with that too, dude. I’m in a program in the wee hours of the morning ccalled That Man is You. One of the questions at the discussion section last week is if you knew you we going to die at the end of the day, what would you do?

My answer was to run around in a purple panic to find a priest.

Well, Bill…Mene, Mene, Tekel, Parsin. I’d be working on the soul, mein freund. You’ll meet him soon enough.

On a lighter note:

The ice has melted. We’re back to normal winter here.

It’ll be skyraisin season soon enough.