If it wasn’t for bad luck…

I wouldn’t have no luck at all.

Born under a bad sign.

I’ve been down, since I’ve been able to crawl.

If it wasn’t for bad luck,

I wouldn’t have no luck at all.

The week’s off to a bad start. For sure.

First, a digression. First time I heard this song it was at the Funky Pirate on Bourbon Street, New Orleans. Big Al Carson and the Blues Masters. We wound up there every night. Super great dive bar, with amazing live blues. I bought their CD and have been playing it for 20 years. Sadly, he seems to have passed before getting much content on the you tubes.

Ever have one of those days when shit just goes wrong?

I mean every thing you try to do ends up in a fisting. Yeah I said it. And it’s a proper term.

I used to be better at realizing when I woke up doomed. Back in the past, I’d try this or that and very shortly after, usually before noon, I’d be reduced to sitting, watching the dogs, and drinking beer. By the time Herself posted home from work I’d be halfway pickled.

Nicht Gut.

The only thing I managed to do yesterday without getting screwed was walking the dogs.

I have a membership handbook I’ve been trying to finish for weeks. I finally got it. Sent it out, had one response for edits. Knocked that out and tried to print it to FedEx Office.

What a mess. First off, I used to print 100 page manuals at about $13 a hit. They wanted that for a lousy 48 page document. So I trimmed it down. B&W, Stapled, not bound. I could not spend my money to do this. The site kept locking up.

Tried Mimeo.com. Worked, but I need it now. I can’t wait three days and don’t want to pay overnight. So, office depot next. Same shit. Could not change it, could not finish the transaction. Just like Fedex, Tried two browsers. All messed up.

Fuggit. I’ll go print it manually and bind it myself.

At FedEx Office, it didn’t make it through one copy before the machine shit the bed.

Seriously? Why can my color officejet print this without a sweat and a multi-thousand dollar print station can’t? Had to go back and remind it to use standard paper. Got it done, only to come home and find out the rest of the crew chimed in with changes.

I was ready to set something on fire.

Rule number one of business is don’t make it hard for people to buy stuff from you. I had a CFO tell me one time that in business you were either giving away gold bars (customer service/Tech Support) or collecting money. If you were giving away gold, people could line up and wait. If you were collecting money, you did it as easy and fast as possible.

I think we’ve lost this today. I used to show up in a new city, setup for a class, send the print job to Kinkos, go eat dinner, have a few cold snacks, and swing by and pick up my printing on the way back to the hotel.

What went wrong?

Screw it. I’ll go prune the persimmon. So I get started, and got the bottom branches done. But my pole trimmer was gooched. Then I realized I’d been standing in the muddy ground in my timberland’s. They now are sporting a 1″ sole of muddy clay.

Fuggit. I’ll go get parts to fix the trimmer. Maybe hit the grocery to pick up stuff I forgot.

Ugh…It’s a holiday. So I stand in line. Everywhere.

I’m done. A done tom turkey. Screw the diet right now.

Stuck a roast in the oven.

Having cold snacks (beer).

Have not heard from Herself, who was supposed to be home early.

I’ll be feet up shortly watching Vice Grip Garage on youtubes.