Too Big for My Boots

Whenever I feel myself getting too big for my boots I strive to remind myself that I have undoubtedly wasted all of my own gifts that God gave me, in comparison than if someone else had been blessed with what I am endowed. We move closer to God when we move away from the self. Without Him, I am nothing. But without me, He is.

Adam Piggott

That quote was from the Pushing Rubber blog. What resonated with me was “I have undoubtedly wasted all of my own gifts that God gave me”

During the penitential rite at the mass, we Catholics say:

“I confess to almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned. In my thoughts, in my words, in what I have done, and what I have failed to do…

I’ve read a lot about life after death experiences and a lot of it lines up with my faith. One of the things that is consistent is we see all we’ve done, all who we’ve affected, what we didn’t do and were supposed to be doing. That’s the part I’m dreading.

From time to time I go to a Jesuit retreat house for a silent retreat. It’s really a great practice, resetting your head and getting a setpoint back. It’s also a place where a lot of older guys go, who may have only recently returned to the Church go to get right with God. These are men (or women) only events, where you spend a long weekend in silence, prayer, and meditation, working through the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius.

At the end, you are encouraged to give some sort of comment or testimony about how your retreat went. There was an old dude there once, maybe 75-80 years old that told us that through the spiritual exercises, he realized all the times God was there for him, guiding him, and he’d ignored it or didn’t realize it. Dude broke down telling his story. I really felt for him.

I’m keenly aware of the many times I’ve screwed up. But it’s the part where I don’t know that has me worried. Hopefully, I have time enough to figure it out.