Not this guy. That’s who.
I’m not that into movies these days, unless its a proven actor or a storyline that I like. Who’s to say I wouldn’t like Homer’s Odyssey, but I’m certain I wouldn’t like Christopher Nolan’s version. Victor Hansen used to teach this in his classics class, both in English and Greek. He has a worthy synopsis here:
There was way too much hype here. They apparently didn’t follow the story all that well, and they DIED the characters too. That’s where they lost me. Let’s start off with “Elliott Page“. Ellen Page started off a woman and now has transformed herself into a twink. A nebbish. Why one would do that is beyond me. She plays a Greek warrior named Sinon, who is not in any of Homer’s works. So they added her in there because reasons. I can’t see her as a Greek Warrior. That alone would’ve lost me. Stick to the text.
Next up is Helen of Troy, supposed to be the most beautiful woman in the world at the time. For her, they coughed up Lupita Nyong’o. Sure. She’s pretty enough, but not the most beautiful woman in the world now or then. Not the idea I’d have has the Daughter of Zeus. Zeus and whoever the mother was (could be many) are greek gods. Not Maasai warriors. I like Adam Carolla’s take – When you think of the most beautiful woman in the world, you aren’t thinking a shorthaired black woman built like a teenage boy. They have to have the woman stuff – like curves, flowing hair, and especially boobs. (His rant on the missing boobs part was epic).
Makes sense to me. I’m a guy, after all.
The last one I have to pick on is Zendaya. Hoof. She was more like a dude in Dune. Here, she’s the warrior goddess Athena. No telling what Athena looked like. But again, Zendaya can be cute, and maybe pass off for greek. But she still has that ‘don’t look like a greek goddess’ thing, as well as the boss chick annoying thing. Sure warrior. Maybe. Not a goddess. They couldn’t get Gina Carano for that character? She looks like she could be a greek warrior princess.
So I’m out. Just from what I see, I’d give it a “Meh, fuggit”. Not worth my time streaming it, let alone flattening my aching ass sitting in a theater for the nearly three hours of torment it would be.
Inspected By Pat 