Performing

Get a load of this:

The title is “Woman Says White People Learned to Be Fake”

She says black people have trouble fitting in the corporate world because everyone else, especially white people, learnt to be fake. You see they are simply performing. They aren’t being true to themselves and their culture like she is. Her ‘Culture’ hasn’t learned to fake being nice to get ahead.

“How are you?” “How are you doing today?” “How was your weekend?”

She doesn’t think she should have to deal with this because her culture is “just do my work to get my pay and leave”.

The late great ZMan had a podcast which had a segment on this. If you are interested it’s episode 144. In that example a med student was struggling with the same thing. It was irritating to her that her professors would want to chat with her and she didn’t want to play the game.

This one says we are performing, over and over.

It would shock her to know that we aren’t performing so that we can climb up the corporate ladder. Nor are the hispanics and asians, and everyone else not like her. It’s normal to be friendly with others that you spend a lot of time with, like your coworkers. It’s normal to be interested in them and chat. It’s part of team bonding. It’s part of the human experience to care for and be nice to others as a default.

I run into these people all the time. They do their job (usually a menial one) to the letter of their duties, and no more. They are “polite” or what passes to them as polite. What it sounds like to everyone not like them is condescension, and forced politeness almost to the point of being offensive. The dead eyes. The monotone going-through-the-motions voice. I’ve seen it taken to the next level as well. At a Chipotle there was a woman like this at the beginning of the line. Laconic response, put about a tablespoon of carnitas in my bowl before I called her out and told her to add more. Next dude in line? A soul brother. For him she was all smiles and chatty, and hooked him up on his order.

I’ve never darkened the door of a Chipotle since. Think about that, you corporate titans. For every worker like her that comes into contact with your customers, there’s probably dozens that went elsewhere after the interaction. For someone like me, forever.

I went to a Jared’s to get my watch looked at. Same type of woman. Ask me when the next time I’ll visit a Jared’s in the future. Matter of fact, if I see someone like her now, I’ll simply walk out.

I worked with a similar types in the past. My signature line when they worked for me was “You aren’t talented enough to be this kind of primadonna. If this woman worked for me, I’d happily replace her with someone less skilled, but wanted to learn and was more pleasant to be around. You can teach tech. You can’t teach the ability to be friendly and helpful to others.

Oddly, good old Anton here agreed with her on one point. Like if she did shift work or something she shouldn’t have to be nice to others.

Wrong.

This is narcissism and self centeredness. When you work for an employer, it’s not about you. The problem is her. Not her coworkers. Start there. Also start with with the thought that this is the way everyone is in real life. They aren’t faking and performing. It’s society showing her how to act, and she’s not listening.

You are the outlier, my dear.