On Getting Old

Found this on Irish’s place awhile back, thought I wrote about it, but I didn’t.

And here’s the kicker aging hits men differently than women, and it’s almost always framed negatively. Women get “wine nights,” “self-care Sundays,” and “50 & Fabulous.” We men on the other hand hit 40 and it’s dad-bod jokes, hairline memes, and the tired “midlife crisis” cliché.

Meanwhile, we’re carrying decades of grind, responsibility, and the pressure of knowing we don’t get to screw up, not even once, without paying for it forever.

But here’s the thing: while we may not be as physically capable as we were, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally? This can be our time to shine. If we choose to.

Getting older can actually be the best upgrade a man gets:

• Fewer illusions.
• Clearer standards.
• A tighter circle.
• Better priorities.

You stop auditioning for people who don’t care and don’t matter and start investing in the ones who do. You finally learn to prioritize the one person who’s been neglected for decades…YOU!

Lot of good stuff there. In many ways, I’m a far better man than I was when I was younger.

Things I miss

• Not much.
• Being able to taste things like before. Cancer screwed me out of that. Even when I taste my meal, that generally runs out halfway through.
• Recovering from work/workouts in a day. Although I’ve found Creatine to help.
• Curiosity, especially for work.
• The drive to fix things, like my transmission. The old me would pull it out and put a seal on it. My old-ass self is going to pay the nut to have it done.
• Sleeping all night long. It’s rare I sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time.

Things I don’t miss

• Travel. Don’t know why those middle age women are into it. I like being there. Getting there sucks. And where you go is hardly ever the way you thought it would be.
• The drive to ride the ratwheel to provide for your family. I don’t have to do that any more. I gave them the tools, they’ve run with them.
• The feeling that I’m indestructible. I know I’m not and don’t do stupid things any longer. Like climb on a roof, If I can avoid it.
• Thirst. When you are a young man, your top mission in life is to get laid. Not so any more. Then again, as I size up Gen-Z, that appears to have evaporated. Low T levels, for sure. You can see it in them.

Things I’ve gained

• Patience. By a lot. I’m way more willing to size things up, waiting to see how the go.
• Wisdom. Older and wiser.
• Spirituality/Faith. I’m far more connected than I used to be, and as such I’ve been blessed over and over.
• People Skills, especially with women. I listen more. I can strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere.
• Empathy. I can see the other side of people. Back when the divorce was in full swing, I was complaining to my sister, and she said “Do you suppose she (herself) feels the same way? Never occurred to me. Now it does all the time. It’s part of patience.

Like in the list above, I don’t give those that really don’t matter a second thought, let alone have them interfere in my peace. And for what it’s worth, Middle age crazy didn’t make me buy a hotrod bike. It’s like my sixth or seventh bike. Being divorced allowed me to buy the bike I would’ve bought if I could have a few years ago.

As the piece says, you can be far better as you age. I’ve certainly found it so.

Age and Guile will beat Youth and Skill, every time – PJ O’Rourke