How long, oh lord…

I’m going to start a new category for crap that happens that stresses my patience.

Seems it happens daily.

Today, It’s two things that women do. So rare is it I see a male doing these, it’s not worth mentioning.

First is ambling around a store yammering on their speakerphone.

Do I really need to hear your conversation as I’m sizing up the lettuce selection, or what kind of chicken they have out today? And it’s all bullshit that I’m hearing. Gossip.

Fer cryin out loud, can you not be disconnected from the hive for the twenty minutes it takes to grab your bag of cheetos and diet coke? When taught faith formation and I’d catch a girl texting, I’d give a talk on what it means to be an independent adult. Do you really allow someone to control your life so much you need to respond immediately?

Did someone die? Is a family member on the way to the hospital? No?

Then put the phone away. It’ll wait. Focus on the here and now, please.

Second is worse. Far worse. It happens at Mass.Yesterday was a holy day – All Saints. It’s followed by today, which is All Souls, not a holy day, but a worthy reason to do some praying. Two women, old enough to know better, spent the lions share of the service talking about bullshit. Gossip. During the homily. During the presentation (Distracting from the music), during the hour father, ffs.

To paraphrase Jesus on Holy Thursday; Can you not even spend an hour?

Little more grey hair, and more lines in my face and I’m going to do a lean over and ask them if it would be a burden to shut their pie holes for an hour. Their yammering is more distracting than interesting.

And today is hardly an isolated incident. It happens nearly every Sunday on some level. Sometimes in front of me, sometimes in back.

Maybe I need to sit in the front to lesson the odds.

I’m not that old. I remember a time when people kept their business to themselves, and had at least a small amount of respect for others around them.

No class. None whatsoever.

That’s the problem.

As an aside, there was a bit of entertainment factor included. It seems there was a deaf couple in attendance. Maybe more than one. So they had a signing lady doing her hand waving thing during the mass. At communion, the cantor started a chant in latin. I happened to glance over at the signing lady just as she did an airforce salute – I got nuthin. And sat there with her hands on her lap looking sheepish during the piece.