Adam Piggott as a great post on Male Friendship. If you can see it at all. He’s having a spot of bother with douchebags hammering his site with DDS attacks (probably from the US). So connect through a VPN with a terminal point in any other country and his site works fine.
The money quote:
Which is why whenever a man shacks up with an unfortunate woman she will then do her very best to begin the process of separating him from his circle of friends. She wants to eliminate the real competition, and by doing so she will reduce her victim to a husk of his former self.
Male friendship and camaraderie is what enabled us to conquer the world. The ultimate example of male friendship is Jesus and His disciples. Jesus could have done His own thing, but He didn’t; He choose to do it with twelve guys who became very close friends. This gives greater weight to the depth of the betrayal by Judas.Adam Piggott
I have few close friends.
But those I have are friends I’ve had since childhood and when I was a young adult.
I know maybe half a dozen dudes that I could turn to if I were desperate. That’s it.
I learnt that the hard way when I was laid off in the early 2000s. Dudes I thought were my friends treated me as a leper. Like they’d catch the lay-off by simply talking to me, let alone helping me.
It was a moment of clarity, for sure.
The worst, the very worst, were those “I want to act like I’ll help for the credit, but not actually do something” types. Never in my life before had I had someone offer to help, then ghost me.
The best were the dudes that called just because.
“Hey, whatter yer’ doing…Let’s go look at wood”
Dude I’m sort of busy
“Busy doing what? You don’t have a job. Come on. I’ll buy lunch”
Dude I was having that conversation with told me flat out he meant to get me out of the house, away from my worries for an afternoon. That was a friend.
Back to the quote: “…she will then do her very best to begin the process of separating him from his circle of friends”
Man, I know a lot of dudes that were stuck in that boat. Good friends. My son even. And I told him what she was doing because I’d seen it half a dozen times before.
I probably don’t have many young guys reading this. But I’ll say it for posterity- It takes a few months for the crazy to manifest when you meet a new woman. And if she tries to come between you and your circle of friends, it’s time to ghost her. If it were real, she’d accept them, and them her.
It’s a sad, all to common thing. Hell, I know an old dude now that his woman is doing this. And given our relationship, I know it’s a delicate thing to open his eyes. He’s an older dude and his woman, at least from what I can see, is trying to control things pretty tightly.
He’s old enough to know better.
So am I.
All I can do is be a good wingman.