Yet Another Outrage

It’s been a busy, busy week here at the bunker. In addition to having to do real work that pays me, I have to prepare for a weekend away. The house is a disaster after this week’s rain, and I had to give three monster dogs their baths. It’s a bit of work, but they know what the drill is. I simply walk out and holler “BATHTIME”, and they run to the car. First one in is the first one to go. The other two turn tail, run inside, and wait their turn. Then, one by one I take them to the local Pet Supplies Plus, less than a mile away, and create the bath disaster in their tubs, rather than mine. It’s a great service, that works like a self serve car wash. They have four stations that, for a reasonable fee, you waddle up to and take care of business using their shampoo, their towels, and blow dryers.

I’m sitting here, catching up, listening to Piggott’s Greasy Pole podcast with a rack of ribs from ButcherBox roasting as I wait for my son’s friend to pick up keys to the bunker to mind the dogs, who are busily rolling on the grass and mud now that they’re clean.

I had meant to vent about the general stupidity and outrage these days, but found something else to be outraged about. Actually, more like grossed out. This would be fake food.

I’ve been re-watching Anthony Bourdain shows on Amazon and with each episode I get bombarded with ads for nasty vegan fake foods.

This stuff both fascinates me and grosses me out. One of my daughters caught the vegetablist bug and had us cook this stuff, which you can’t. You can follow the instructions to a “T”, and they still come out nasty. Her veggie burgers come to mind. What comes out is a greasy, gooey mess. The only way to make it work out in any manner is to add all the fixings. BTW, that’s the same problem with fast food burgers for the most part. There was a book I read called “Omnivore’s Dilemma” where one passage was on how tasteless corn fed beef was compared to the old days. He said that the next time you eat one of these fast food burgers, contemplate what you are tasting. You taste the ketchup, lettuce, tomato, onion, bun, and very little of the beef, if any at all. Damn if he wasn’t right. I haven’t eaten one since.

The commercial that showed the most is “Just Egg“, which comes in a 12oz bottle, for $13 or so. Comes out to over a dollar per serving. Each commercial shows this or that person swooning whilst eating their fake egg made of mung beans. I’m dubious. Take a gander at the images on their site. Looks like runny hotel or cafeteria egg product to me.

The other one is “LiteLife”. Yummy fake hotdogs. I can’t imagine putting that in my face. I saw an ad on the interwebs for fake steak where they showed the process. Basically, it’s 3D printed out of red and white goo.

When I was in cancer therapy, when Herself asked what to feed me the doctor said “The closer it is to however God made it is the best.” That isn’t this stuff, for sure. All this stuff is heavily processed. It has to be. They fiddle the environmental numbers to make it seem like you’re saving the earth. I’m betting you aren’t.

I have a few issues with this whole idea, other than how they vandalize your palate.

First off, if you want to be a vegetablist, there are cultures out there that have totally vegan diets. If you want to do that, make the food they make. There isn’t a vegetable out there that is a complete protein. So you need to mix foods to get a complete diet like they do. I’ve known a few vegetablists that did this. The number of dishes they make to compose a meal is astonishing.

Take a look at “Just Egg”:

See anything missing?

Let’s look at an egg:

The difference is actual nutrition. It’s this way for mostly whatever manufactured fake food you can pick. By the way, a dozen eggs is in the neighborhood of $1.50 here. Sometimes, less than a buck.

I’ve known a few vegans in my past. For the most part, they are some of the more unhealthy people I meet. They seem to get sick more often than my normal friends. And sure, they dropped weight. Having a coffee and a handful of berries for breakfast, and a small salad for lunch will do that for you. Over time, it’ll also more than likely denude you of vitamins and minerals that’ll keep osteoporosis at bay. Sure they take vitamins as well, but wouldn’t it be better to eat a diet of whole foods that provide that? If you want to read about a guy that went through this, pick up a copy of “Pushing Rubber Downhill” by Adam Piggott. There’s a section where he went through an awful health crisis this way, and how he cured it, no thanks to western medicine.

One or two over-the-top vegans I know are as bad, if not worse, than former smokers. When they preach to me, I ask them that if their bodies, and appetite appear happy because they’re eating a manufactured steak, don’t you think that’s what their body wanted in the first place? I’m no doctor, but I’m sure that’s part of how a craving is started.

You know what’s funny? I’ve had to lose weight from time to time, and not one doctor I have said this kind of diet was a good thing to start. Not one. Matter of fact, I’ve had two of them tell me that this and other diets are merely a mechanism to watch what you eat. Why not just simply pay attention with normal food?

This crap is expensive, gross, and more than likely bad for you. There’s reason that when grocery stores were being wiped out at the start of COVID that the only sections still fully stocked were this stuff.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check on my roasting piggy parts.