Two Years

Can’t believe I missed this date. The real day was May 22 or so.

It’s been just over two years that I’ve been sober.

The previous Sunday, the wife bugged out, having already petitioned for a divorce. Monday, I went and saw a priest. Tuesday at noon, I went to my first AA meeting.

I planned on just listening, but they asked if I wanted to say anything, so I let loose. It was an amazing, uplifting experience. I don’t think I’ve had so many strangers hug me ever before or since. I sat in my car and bawled after the meeting. I couldn’t process the thought that so many people cared about a miserable bastard like me.

Jelly Roll has a great song about this called ‘Winning Streak”:

“I was so ashamed to be sitting in this seat, when I met a man who was 20 years clean. He said “Everyone here’s had the same defeat. Nobody walks through these doors on a winning streak”.

The story was that he went to a meeting to hang, when an old timer came up to a dude who was barely clean and said that. I had my moment like that. I was confused, broken. When I’d talk to some of the old timers my mind would go in circles at 100 mph. That was until and old dude said “Look. We’ve all been through exactly what you are going through. Call us.”

I met some good people and have great, fond memories. They watched as I sobered up, cleaned up, and became healthy, fit, and focused. They were there, every step of the way. At one point, one of the regulars that I admired, probably the most, pointed out that seeing people like me come in there a hot mess and straighten themselves out was why he came.

Dude’s life had been a shambles and train wreck. He’d gotten out of jail years ago. Was on work release and had to walk to the meetings every day (his car and license gone). And now? Super successful. He could move on but he’s there nearly every day at noon, almost a decade later.

I knew I needed to quit. I didn’t know that I was far enough gone that I would need help. Sad I had to seek that help on my own, but it got done.

If you need help, go an AA meeting. The best way to find them is download the app, which as a meeting locator. It’s probably best to show up. They post a number, but there really isn’t any staff sometimes. In my group, there was a wall phone. When it rang, someone would walk over and pick it up.

Just walk in. You’ll be welcomed.

The 12th step (there are twelve steps in the program) is helping other alcoholics. I need to find a meeting down here and make time to attend.